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Car Trips With Kids? No Sweat!By: Beverley Cathcart-Ross
Co-founder of Parenting Network You might be breaking out into a sweat at the mere thought of a car trip with kids. But handled well, car trips can be an easy and budget friendly way to have some family fun and adventure! The key to a successful car trip is in the preplanning. Here are some tips to get you started:
Family Meetings
If even the mention of a 'family meeting' has everyone heading for the hills, it's time for a change in your approach!
Packaging
Make your meetings fun, and make them brief! And it never hurts to serve up a great celebratory snack at the end! Ask for someone to be the meeting Chairperson. Their job is to make sure everyone's voice gets heard. If you are an intense parent don't even think about taking on this job! You'll also need a secretary to record family decisions and jobs.
Agenda
Make a short list of topics to brainstorm. For a car trip, that might include: the travel itinerary; meals and car snacks, car entertainment and activities, and solutions for those inevitable conflicts! The meeting comes to an end (not necessarily in one session) when you have a plan in place. By the way, agreement on issues is by consensus, not voting. Yes, this can be more challenging, but it eliminates kids from ganging up on each other. Bonus: Parents report these meetings are great for teaching life skills such as negotiation, dealing with conflict, and flexibility. They also help nurture empathy, respect and responsibility.
Creative Brainstorming
This part of the meeting is where it gets fun - generating ideas, and letting our imaginations flow. It is not a time for evaluation of ideas! Brainstorm each agenda item and record suggestions - wacky ideas are welcomed. Then it's time to evaluate and look for agreement. Most often there is an obvious winning idea on the list, and the decision is easy. Sometimes the process of elimination works best. Examples of ideas that might not make the cut - taking the pet gerbil on the trip for in-car entertainment; hourly stops for doughnuts and pop; listening to the top 5 Rap CDs. Decisions on sticky items can be postponed - don't let them drag down the whole meeting. Sleeping on it, or asking for the family to find a compromise often works.
Ideas to get the creative juices flowing - Jobs and Contributions
Make a list of jobs to be done in prep for the car trip and let family members choose. For example, preschoolers or school-aged children can make the sandwiches and fill the thermos with ice water for the car. Older kids can create the route map and research possible hotels for that night on the road.Tip: Agree on a time when the task is to be complete - car snacks to be packed the night before; hotel to be booked a week before.
In-car survival
· Set the pace for the most restless child. Make brief stops to stretch and refresh.
· Rotate seating. For longer trips, consider a special activity at each seat - a Gameboy seat; a 'talk to the driver' seat; a 'serve the snack' seat; and a seat with a CD player and headset.
· Take along a selection of music CDs and/or DVDs (best agreed on in the family meeting - another great job for a child to organize!). 'Books on CD' can make a car trip fly by!
· Make "what to do when" agreements for those piddly things that have caused your kids to become unglued in the past. You've heard them before: "He's looking at me!" "She's bugging me - tell her to stop singing!" "His leg's on my side!". You know what the buttons are, so be proactive and discuss them before everyone's trapped in their seats.
Empower your child for those challenging moments
· Practice with them how to make requests in a calm and respectful way. For example: "Would you sing to yourself please?"
· Encourage them to let a parent know when they are getting restless or irritable.
· Get out the book they brought, and focus their attention away from the bothersome behaviour.
· Invite the person who's annoying them to play an activity or car game.
And should your 'joy ride' turn into 'hell on wheels'… here's what a parent needs to do:
Give information and offer a choice
"It is not safe for me to drive with this noise and distraction. I need the fighting to stop or Ill have to pull over. Which will it be?"
Tip - You only need to give this information the first time. After that, if they start to fight simply pull over - like the pull of gravity!
Action Not Words
If the children continue to fight then find a safe place to pull off the road. Settle in, you might be here for a while. Feel free to stretch your legs and read a book. Do not pay any attention to the antics in the back. If things get too wild, let them know you will wait outside and that you will start driving when things are calm.
Tip - The key to the success of this strategy is to take action before you feel annoyed, so you won't remind, nag, scold or lecture before, during or after having pulled over. And don't let these moments get you down - look at it as an investment for the long term. Truly a 'family adventure'!
Happy travels!
About the Author: Beverley Cathcart-Ross is the co-founder of Parenting Network. Hailed Toronto's Parenting Guru by Toronto Life Magazine, she has been bringing out the best in parents since 1989 through her courses, teleclasses, talks and counseling. She is the producer of two Parenting CDs "Encouragement Skills - Preparing our Children for Life" and "Parenting Styles - Making the Right Choice". Beverley credits her keen and often humourous insights to her other life as a mom of 4 children.
Parenting Network provides you with the life skills necessary to raise caring, cooperative and responsible children. Their parenting courses are invigorating and fun, making learning a whole lot easier. For more information about Parenting Network, please visit their website at www.parentingnetwork.ca or call 416-480-2499.
© Toronto4Kids - March 2008. This article was accurate at the time of its publication, and information is subject to change without notice. This article may not be reproduced in part or in its entirety without the expressed written permission from Toronto4Kids. |
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