Oh Behave! Mall Manners For Children

By: Paula Wilhelm

For children 3-5 years old:

1) Be specific. "Thank you for sitting quietly while I change," is much better than, "Good boy!" Children need to know exactly what they're doing right. Learn to praise effort as well as success by saying, "I like the way you tried to sit quietly when..."

2) Be immediate. Praise children while they still remember what they did. For example, "Thank you for closing the door gently. I like the way you remembered to do that."

3) Be creative. Bring books, toys, snacks and a sense of humour. This age loves to count, teach them simple addition and patterns; they love to sing – do dressing room karaoke; they love you – talk to them, hug them and use a nice tone of voice.

4) Be realistic. This age makes frequent trips to the bathroom, always needs a snack and gets tired of walking well before you do. Adjust what you can!

For children 5-8 years old:

Children between 5 and 8 years old can learn handshakes and introductions, how to greet and interact with a salesperson and table manners for the food court. At this age it is important to explain that a first impression is based on a person’s appearance. Choosing clothes that Mom likes and kids find cool is a compromise and a sign of respect for the person paying the bills. Practicing social decorum prepares them for play dates without you and special occasions that require their absolute best.

For children 9-13 years old:

9 to 13 year olds need to learn the difference between trendy and appropriate dress for a variety of social events. Expanding on the handshakes and introductions, eye contact and smiles, proper posture and talking openly about their changing body is linked to a healthy body image and increased confidence. Parents need to keep the lines of communication open to avoid years of one word answers, blank stares, tantrums and glum faces.

Linking an allowance to the chores your child is expected to do for the family is a great way to teach children how to save, spend and donate. Make a list of things they want, things they need and do an inventory to make sure you do not already have it. Splitting the cost of purchases helps them appreciate the value of a dollar. Teach children to think of others by donating clothing, toys and items. This helps them to appreciate what they do have and what so many people do not have. With a little bit of patience and a little more information sharing, you can teach your child good manners! Promise yourself that you will make manners a daily habit for 20 days and I know you’ll see change.

Paula Wilhelm is the Southern Ontario affiliate of In Good Company and teaches children, teens and parents monthly in Toronto and Burlington, Ontario. She has shared the good manners message with many radio and television audiences and recently published The Good Manners Colouring Book. We have specially designed a session for 5-15 year olds to learn about Manners and Respect, Chores, Patience, Table Manners, Telephone Etiquette and more! This information is presented in a fun and entertaining way with crafts, activity sheets, songs and challenges.

To find out more, visit www.goodmanners.ca.