Moving… Making it easier on the kids!

By: Toronto4Kids

Moving to a new home can be a challenging and stressful experience for kids. They are leaving behind familiar places and important friendships. It's very much like starting over - they have to find new friends and get used to a new home, neighbourhood, and school.

Here are some tips to help you before, during and after the move to support your kids during this big change in their lives.

Before:

• If your kids are older, tell them you are moving right away. This gives them more time to prepare themselves and adjust to the idea. For toddlers and preschoolers, don't tell them until they have to know. There is no point to make them worry in advance.

• Let your kids express their feelings. Many will feel anger, sadness and worry - some will resent the move. This is completely normal and communicating their thoughts will help them work through these doubts more easily

• Help your kids prepare a list of phone numbers and addresses of their close friends and relatives. Knowing they can stay in touch with them is key to a successful move.

• If possible, take your kids to your new home and explore the neighbourhood or city together, prior to moving. If this isn't doable, take pictures of your new home, the schools, a nearby park or attraction, and anything else that would be of interest.

• Help them make a scrapbook containing pictures of your previous home, friends, and other mementos.

• Arrange for a meeting at the new school prior to the move so the kids can visit to meet with the principal and teachers.

• Try to meet families in your new neighbourhood before you move. Being familiar with people when you move in will help your children feel more at home and give them something to look forward to.

During:

• During the move, stay optimistic and upbeat. Focus on the positive ways it will affect the family.

• Let your kids help with packing. They can put their own belongings in boxes. Toddlers and younger kids can enjoy decorating the boxes containing their things. This will help them find their bits and pieces once you're at the new house.

• Don't pack things that are precious to your kids. A special blankie, a beloved teddy bear or a favourite doll should travel with your child to your new home.

• Stick to routines. Have meals at the same times as always. If your kids nap have them to lie down at the usual time. Keep normal bedtimes.
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• Help your kids say good bye to the important people in their lives. Throw a fun pizza or make-your-own sundae party for their friends. Take pictures of everyone at the party and make a photo album.

• Expect the unexpected. Not all moves go smoothly so keep a positive and confident attitude that you can overcome anything!

After:

• Don't spend too much time unpacking boxes - not right away! Unload just the essentials and what you need to make you feel settled. Take the time to enjoy your new home with your family. Introduce yourselves to your new neighbours. Take walks. Check out local restaurants, parks and attractions.

• Scout out neighbourhood kids, and introduce your children. Once you're comfortable with your new acquaintances, invite them over for pizza or a video. Or, throw yourself a 'Welcome to the Neighbourhood' party or BBQ and invite all the families on your block.

• Line up activities for your kids as soon as you have moved: sports team, music lessons, art classes, kids' clubs or town programs. Keep your children active. This will keep them occupied and will introduce them to new friends. Get involved in local groups, YMCA and activity clubs. Take part in school activities.

• Let your kids have some input in planning the new house, especially their rooms! Even if you don't follow through on all their ideas, it's important to allow a few things such as the placement of their furniture or the paint colour for their bedroom. Take them shopping for new items such as bedspreads, towels and other decorative items.

• If you've moved to another town, consider giving your kids a long distance phone card so they can keep in touch with friends back home who mean the most to them. Encourage them to write letters to pals and family left behind.

• Listen to your kids. Ask how things are going. If they are having a hard time opening up, spend some quiet time with them to encourage them to open up about whatever is on their minds.

• Look for warning signs if your kids are not adjusting well: anxiety, depression, sleep disruptions, poor socialization, and dropping grades. They might need professional services to help them adjust to their new environment. You can also seek help through the school or counsellor.

For most kids, it will take some time to feel at home and to get used to their new surroundings. Don't get frustrated! With your patience and understanding, your children will know that things will eventually get easier. Before you know it, the new house will become "home" once again, where they will feel secure and comfortable!