How Do We Greet Our Children With Their Report Cards?

By: THE EDUCARE WAY

In the past, children were expected to achieve high marks on their report cards. If they did not, their parents might force them to do better by threatening or punishing them. Low marks were blamed on a lack of effort. No wonder some children feared the day when report cards were to be handed out. Even today, many children are still afraid to bring home their report cards. As in the past, they fear the consequences of poor marks. We could easily believe that the report card tradition has changed over the years. In fact, it has not. Our approach to the process, however, can change. Completely doing away with report cards would be out of the question. Parents, children and teachers need report cards as benchmarks to monitor progress. Therefore, we must take another look at the report card practice to make the exercise a positive and constructive one for children.

Tip 1
Remember that reading is the cornerstone to success in school.

During the early years, we should focus our efforts on our children's most important academic learning skill reading. Learning to read is a prerequisite to mastering any other subject. Parents have an important role to play in helping their
children master this vital skill. If we read to our children, they will enjoy reading and, in turn, they will find it easier to learn how to read. This will help them achieve higher marks in reading and perform better in every other subject.

Tip 2
Encourage our children to be accountable for their marks.

When children are first beginning school, the report cards are really intended for their parents. Young children do not understand report cards. But when a child reaches the age of 10 or 11, he must realize that he is responsible for his marks and that, ultimately, only he can improve these, with our support and encouragement. In this way, he is accountable. To inspire accountability in our children, we must adopt a few strategies. Before the report cards are out, we should encourage our children to predict how well they will do in each of their subjects. It is a good idea to take note of these predictions for later comparisons. When they actually show us their report cards, we should ask them what they think of their marks in relation to their predictions. Our role is to listen to them carefully without judging them because their perception might be quite different from ours. We should then review our discussion, keeping in mind what they have said.

Respect for their opinions will also make them feel more accountable for their report card performance. When we meet with the teachers to discuss the report card, we should involve our children. During the meeting, we should let our children comment on their performance, just as we encouraged them to do so at home. Afterwards, the parents' observations and findings can be discussed with the teachers. We should note the importance of the child's role in the process by showing respect for their opinions and nurturing their participation. For the process to be successful, however, the child must be treated as an equal. There must be mutual respect between the child, the parents and the teachers. This way, the discussions will take place in a calm and relaxed atmosphere so that the child will not be afraid to express his views. As a result, the report card will have been a positive opportunity for both the child and the parents to review the past and to raise hopes for the future.

Tip 3
Comparing and criticizing are detrimental to our children.

Every child is unique and progresses at her own rate. Generally, every child will go through the same phases of development but the duration of each phase may vary considerably. For example, some children learn how to read in a few months, while others will need much more time. The same applies to many other subjects and skills. We should also be aware that during the first few years of schooling, there may be a marked difference in the maturity levels of boys and girls. This undoubtedly affects their ability to learn. A child's age must also be taken into consideration. In the classroom environment, younger children may learn at a different pace than their classmates. A few months difference in age can make quite a difference, particularly in the lower grades. These factors, and many others, show it is practically impossible to make comparisons between children. It is usually neither in their best interest.

Tip 4
Adopt a positive and constructive attitude.

Regardless of the marks achieved, the report card should serve as a basis for positive discussions. Strengths, rather than weaknesses, should be emphasized. Children should be praised and congratulated for their efforts. Like everyone else, children prefer positive comments and praise over hurtful and downgrading criticism. On the other hand, we must not overlook poor results when we know there is room for progress. But we must approach the issue constructively by discussing areas of improvement, setting objectives and planning new ways to achieve better marks. Avoid criticizing the child's weak point, because, in the end, this will only weaken the approach. If problems persist, we should seek remedial help. When our children receive many low marks on their report cards, we should tackle only one weak point at a time. Otherwise, our expectations will be beyond their reach. With support, they should be able to achieve better marks. Also, instead of demanding high marks, we should encourage and praise them for their progress.

Tip 5
Be cautious when praising and rewarding.

Too many compliments can give a child a false impression of himself. In some children, this can accentuate a superiority complex and in others, an inferiority complex. Consequently, our appraisals must be honest and realistic. Many parents offer rewards to their children. A gift may provide instant and well appreciated gratification but the pleasure may be unfortunately short-lived. There are, however, other ways of rewarding children to leave a long-lasting impression of achievement. Rewards that highlight the strong points or progress of each child, such as: a one-on-one outing, a congratulation card with a positive message, or a certificate, will go a long way toward recognizing a child's effort.

At A Glimpse
• nurture excellent reading skills
• encourage accountability
• value and reinforce uniqueness
• emphasize strengths and progress
• give honest and realistic praise

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