The 8 Weapons in the War Against Anger

For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness. ~ Mark Twain

It’s inevitable; as a parent, you are going to get angry from time to time. Try not to be too hard on yourself as we’ve all experienced it. What you can do though is be aware of the anger and learn how to manage it so that you can be the best parent possible. In her book Love and Anger, the Parental Dilemma, Nancy Samalin writes that there are eight weapons parents can use when they are angry.

1) Exit the situation or wait until you have calmed down to say anything.

2) "I" not "you": ie. "I’m angry" rather than "You’re bad."

3) Stay in the present: avoid saying things like "You’ll end up in jail!"

4) Avoid physical force and threats.

5) Speak concisely ie. "Please put your clothes in hamper" instead of "If I have to tell you to put your clothes in the hamper and put away your toys one more time...!"

6) Put your feelings in writing. If nothing else, it allows you to cool down a bit.

7) Focus on the essentials. Ask yourself, "Will this matter in a week’s time?"

8) Restore peace. Sit down with your child for a post-confrontation cuddle to bring you both back to a place of love.

For more tips on how to Manage your Anger, register for our workshop coming up on Tuesday, January 13, 2015, at Swansea Town Hall. 

For more information and to register, see

Contact the Parent Education Network on the web at, by phone at 416-255-8969, by email at, or follow us on Twitter @ParentEdNetwork or on Facebook at

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